Living A Tantric Life for OHM Shanti

I often like to ‘talk dirty’ during sex. It depends on the mood. I wouldn’t use pornographic language during gentle love-making.

It’s strange because I would never use a word like ‘fuck’ in everyday speech - I never use it as a curse word. But when I’m talking about sex I guess I use it quite a lot.

Up until our first child was born Sue and I didn’t really talk much about sex at all. Then one day I wrote her a pornographic letter, very much along the lines of the last post, telling her what I had liked about the last time we had sex and some things that I would like to try. I didn’t bar any holds - it was full of words like ‘cock’ and ‘clit’ and ‘cunt’ and ‘fuck’.

I agonised for ages over whether I should give it to her. I worried what she would make of it. Would she freak out completely? Finally I plucked up the courage and gave it to her. She was a bit shocked at first, understandably. We are a pretty reserved British couple and she had never ever heard me say the word ‘fuck’ in any context so the whole thing took her a bit by surprise. But finally she came round to the idea and it was soon clear that she was turned on by it.

A few more pornographic letters followed and then one day, whilst I was fingering her clit, she asked me to talk to her in the same language that I used in the letters. Now it was my turn to be surprised. I was a bit uncomfortable with it at first, but I soon got into it and there was an immediate impact from her point of view. I thought I could feel a definite stiffening of her clit whilst I was talking about looking forward to sliding my stiff cock into her wet cunt.

It was a tremendous release to be able to do that. Now I could tell her in no uncertain terms what I enjoyed about our sex, we could talk to each other so that we got to know exactly what the other person liked or disliked, or what we would like to do, without having to try to pick up non-verbal signals (obviously non-verbal signals are still very important, though).

Still, outside the heat of passion I would still never use pornographic words to her. I am only comfortable with it during passionate moments when it seems appropriate. And I still write pornographic letters to her from time to time, but we now also have this new-fangled blog thing which can still turn her on sometimes, such as when she read ‘Office Party’.

I guess some people might be shocked at some of the language that I use, particularly the word ‘cunt’ which still seems to be a taboo word, even today. But I feel more comfortable with the old Anglo-Saxon words such as cock, cunt and fuck. To me words like ‘dick’ and ‘pussy’ are American words and even though they are probably used a lot in the UK now under the influence of American porn, I am not comfortable using them myself. So if you’ve ever wondered why I don’t use the word ‘pussy’, that’s it. I don’t use it for the same reason that I don’t call a shopping centre a ‘mall’, or the boot of a car a ‘trunk’.

Also, I figure that if the word ‘cunt’ was acceptable for D H Lawrence to use, then it should be OK for me too. And if anyone dislikes it they can always move on to the next blog. If I was writing professionally I would have to adapt the language according to the market, but I’m not so I guess I can please myself.

Besides, I like the poetic alliteration of the words cock, clit, cunt and fuck.

But establishing a language of sex has helped us enormously in our sex life, and now I can’t imagine it any other way.

4 Comments:

i never thought of “pussy” and “cunt” in terms of other words Funny* And I never considered the term “pussy” to be American LoL. It’s just what I’m used to. Here, Cunt in considered the not so good one… I personally don’t care… I kind of think cunt sounds moure well rounded, even though its not so accepted here. I prefer cock over dick.. but thats only because dick makes me feel like im talking about a person, or like.. moby dick.. and thats odd* but i use all 4 words interchangably* … depending on context.
The Girlfriend: Thursday, December 30, 2004 12:46:03 AM

I’m not quite sure why I consider ‘pussy’ to be an American word. You never know, I might come round to using it, but it certainly doesn’t feel natural at the moment.
Ed: Thursday, December 30, 2004 1:49:51 AM
“We are a pretty reserved British couple”Yeah, that’s what I consider you two as well. Very reserved.

I’ll never think the same of the UK again.

Jay
Jay Loves Kitti: Thursday, December 30, 2004 2:44:05 AM

We are, though, just like Jane and Rob in Edinburgh

Seriously, though, if you met us you would think of us as a typical reserved British couple.

I often like to ‘talk dirty’ during sex. It depends on the mood. I wouldn’t use pornographic language during gentle love-making.

It’s strange because I would never use a word like ‘fuck’ in everyday speech - I never use it as a curse word. But when I’m talking about sex I guess I use it quite a lot.

Up until our first child was born Sue and I didn’t really talk much about sex at all. Then one day I wrote her a pornographic letter, very much along the lines of the last post, telling her what I had liked about the last time we had sex and some things that I would like to try. I didn’t bar any holds - it was full of words like ‘cock’ and ‘clit’ and ‘cunt’ and ‘fuck’.

I agonised for ages over whether I should give it to her. I worried what she would make of it. Would she freak out completely? Finally I plucked up the courage and gave it to her. She was a bit shocked at first, understandably. We are a pretty reserved British couple and she had never ever heard me say the word ‘fuck’ in any context so the whole thing took her a bit by surprise. But finally she came round to the idea and it was soon clear that she was turned on by it.

A few more pornographic letters followed and then one day, whilst I was fingering her clit, she asked me to talk to her in the same language that I used in the letters. Now it was my turn to be surprised. I was a bit uncomfortable with it at first, but I soon got into it and there was an immediate impact from her point of view. I thought I could feel a definite stiffening of her clit whilst I was talking about looking forward to sliding my stiff cock into her wet cunt.

It was a tremendous release to be able to do that. Now I could tell her in no uncertain terms what I enjoyed about our sex, we could talk to each other so that we got to know exactly what the other person liked or disliked, or what we would like to do, without having to try to pick up non-verbal signals (obviously non-verbal signals are still very important, though).

Still, outside the heat of passion I would still never use pornographic words to her. I am only comfortable with it during passionate moments when it seems appropriate. And I still write pornographic letters to her from time to time, but we now also have this new-fangled blog thing which can still turn her on sometimes, such as when she read ‘Office Party’.

I guess some people might be shocked at some of the language that I use, particularly the word ‘cunt’ which still seems to be a taboo word, even today. But I feel more comfortable with the old Anglo-Saxon words such as cock, cunt and fuck. To me words like ‘dick’ and ‘pussy’ are American words and even though they are probably used a lot in the UK now under the influence of American porn, I am not comfortable using them myself. So if you’ve ever wondered why I don’t use the word ‘pussy’, that’s it. I don’t use it for the same reason that I don’t call a shopping centre a ‘mall’, or the boot of a car a ‘trunk’.

Also, I figure that if the word ‘cunt’ was acceptable for D H Lawrence to use, then it should be OK for me too. And if anyone dislikes it they can always move on to the next blog. If I was writing professionally I would have to adapt the language according to the market, but I’m not so I guess I can please myself.

Besides, I like the poetic alliteration of the words cock, clit, cunt and fuck.

But establishing a language of sex has helped us enormously in our sex life, and now I can’t imagine it any other way.

4 Comments:

i never thought of “pussy” and “cunt” in terms of other words Funny* And I never considered the term “pussy” to be American LoL. It’s just what I’m used to. Here, Cunt in considered the not so good one… I personally don’t care… I kind of think cunt sounds moure well rounded, even though its not so accepted here. I prefer cock over dick.. but thats only because dick makes me feel like im talking about a person, or like.. moby dick.. and thats odd* but i use all 4 words interchangably* … depending on context.
The Girlfriend: Thursday, December 30, 2004 12:46:03 AM

I’m not quite sure why I consider ‘pussy’ to be an American word. You never know, I might come round to using it, but it certainly doesn’t feel natural at the moment.
Ed: Thursday, December 30, 2004 1:49:51 AM
“We are a pretty reserved British couple”Yeah, that’s what I consider you two as well. Very reserved.

I’ll never think the same of the UK again.

Jay
Jay Loves Kitti: Thursday, December 30, 2004 2:44:05 AM

We are, though, just like Jane and Rob in Edinburgh

Seriously, though, if you met us you would think of us as a typical reserved British couple.